Fireworks night is too much bang!
I have very fond memories of fireworks night as a child. We would dress up in far too many layers and stand at the top of the garden huddled with mum, while dad lit the fireworks at the end of the garden. All eyes to the sky looking at all these beautiful lights, whizzing and bursting. Then indoors to warm up with jacket potatoes.
My first trip to a real display can never be forgotten. The smell of burning in the air mingled with hotdogs and candy floss, people chatting and giggling , the excitement kept me warm.
It felt magical almost unreal.
Fast forward way more years than I care to say and now I’m the parent, but fireworks night is very very different now !
My beautiful 9 year old non verbal little ray of sunshine has had any love for fireworks squeezed out of him by autism before that love even had a chance to develop.
Last night outside families were enjoying their own magic lights whizzing and bursting, while inside my home i sat with my heart being crushed as my beautiful son’s whole body was violently shaking with fear! His eye’s wide and dilated,heart pounding and his chest rising and falling too fast, his fingers curling, sweat soaking his pajamas, tears pouring down his bright red cheeks and he screamed as his whole being was consumed by the sound of fireworks! !
He looked the epitome of fear!
Fireworks are not beautiful magic lights or a chance of family time to him, instead they are terrifying! Your worst fear multiplied by a million and then some more.
Every year I wish I could load him into the car and disappear to a place called nowhere. A place of calm and peace just so he doesn’t have to feel that way again. .
And I don’t have to watch my son break.
#autismawareness #autismacceptance #specialfamilies #myhero