I am an autism mum!
But what does that mean?
Firstly it means that I’m a mother, I was a mother as soon as I saw that positive pregnancy test, and I’m still that mother now. (Well I may have changed a little )
Secondly it means. ……actually let’s be honest! It can mean almost anything ,because if autism has taught me anything, it’s that nothing is set in stone and thing’s change at the drop of a hat. Thing’s change not just daily but from minute to minute.
It means one day I’m strong and can deal with anything, a bit like Nanny mcphee and Mrs doubtfire rolled into one.
It means another day I put on my wonder woman draws, whipping everything into order to make sure my son gets whatever he needs for his care ,his needs and well. ..his life!
It means at time’s I’m exhausted and burnt out, moving through life like a sleepy sloth.
It means I have days that I don’t like to talk about, when I pull myself away from the world, when I see my son struggling and tears silently roll.
It means I’m a cleaner, a nurse, a receptionist, therapist, carer, a mind reader and general dogs body.
It means I can go from cleaning up poo smears from the wall, to doing the mum chat on the corner after the school run.
It also means sometimes I walk around with cuts and bruses that my son caused, yet I’m so used to it, it’s the norm.
I deal with meltdowns and self harming, I worry and beat myself up, wondering if I’m doing things right.
I moan about the washing basket, and swig wine while curled up on the sofa on a Friday night.
I scream and shout, and smile and laugh.
It means I protect and nurture my children, holding them so tight, melt into their smiles and kiss their sleepy faces.
It means I love. ..
So I suppose the term ‘ autism mum ‘ is just as wide, unpredictable, and individual as autism itself. …
However any of us run with our autism mum title , I’m pretty sure we’re doing it just perfectly for our own awesome individuals.